Monday: My roommate Jed is possessed by a demon.  I tied him up and put him in the bathtub.  Thankfully, I have this ancient tome telling me how to handle this exact situation.  It appear his soul is escaping his body, so I’m to use a Voodoo Doll and a Lightning Rune.  I have a Barbie and a car battery.  Close enough.

Tuesday: Jed is possessed again.  Now he’s grown horns.  I need to use the Sceptre of the King.  I have a toilet brush.

Wednesday: Surprisingly, another possession.  This time, his head is rotating.  In leiu of any Mist of Charisma, I use what’s left of my ax body spray.  I then choose this time to tell Jed that rent is due in two days.  He doesn’t respond.

Thursday: A nice quiet day.  Just kidding, Jed is possessed.  I need a Phoenix Down?  Does it mean this dead bird?  No.  This medicine?  Nope.  Let’s try three ice cubes, a bar of soap, and a bicycle.

Friday: We buried Jed in the backyard.  Here’s hoping that he was hiding some rent money in his sock drawer.

Saturday: I start bleeding from the eyes.  I’m sure it’s fine.

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Bathtime Exorcist can be downloaded for free here.