Not wanting to insult your intelligence and pretend that there’s much insight I can offer into one of the most popular video games of all time, I will instead present to you a bullet pointed list of random thoughts I had about the game as I revisited it this afternoon. If it popped into my head, I documented it.
– It always bothered me that they changed how the Goombas looked. I didn’t even know they were supposed to be Goombas until a few years ago. Blew my mind.
– I’d like to think I just blew the mind of someone that didn’t know they were supposed to be Goombas either.
– I want to know the tragic backstory behind the baseball throwing football player. Did his parents force him into a sport that he didn’t truly love?
– In the Japanese version of the game, Yoshi can eat the dolphins and that’s kind of terrifying, because the dolphins are so happy.
– The transition from the raccoon leaf to the cape feather makes no sense and this still bothers me because I lead a very empty existence.
– Yoshi has orange arms. I’ve never noticed that before.
– Phanto in this game would have been incredible.
– After you get all 96 exits in the game, all of the Koopas in the game turn into Mask Koopas. I’d forgotten how creepy this is.
– I wonder if there are people that play this game without the run button held down the entire time. I also wonder if anyone has told them they are playing the game incorrectly.
– Thwomps probably lead really depressing lives.
– I’d like Mario Party and Mario Kart more if Thwomp was a playable character.
– Let’s also petition to get Thwomp into the various Mario sports games.
– This is officially the most anyone has ever thought about Thwomps.
– Vote Phanto/Thwomp in 2020.
– There is absolutely zero cheese on the Cheese Bridge. This applies to pretty much every area name in the game, but this one especially upsets me for some reason.
– The Top Secret Area breaks what is already a very easy game.
– Except for Tubular. Tubular is a nightmare.
– Chocolate Island sounds like a very delicious, albeit unsanitary place.
– Chocolate Island 2 is the only level in the game that will send you somewhere different depending on the amount of time remaining. I wish later Mario games kept odd mechanics like this.
– Star Road has this special quality that a lot of secret areas in other games lack. It feels as if you’re almost not authorized to be there, as if the area itself was never meant to be seen by all but a very elite few.
– Miyamoto has said over the years that he considers the game unfinished, and I’ve tried to keep that in mind over the years. The fact that there aren’t an even 100 exits point to that. I’ve also noticed that there are only two ice based levels in the entire game, making one think that those assets were intended to be used in more levels.
– They should have made a sequel to this.
– I don’t know what this Yoshi’s Island game you’re screaming about is, but I’m pretty sure you just made it up. Sounds terrible.